Burn

I’d loved the light always

and now I’m trying,

trying to fall in love,

with as many things-

as possible, and for now,

I love the dark just as much,

I have a billion companions,

only two I can call friends,

How ironical can life be

The beauty of things as such,

I shine brighter than your sun ,

when I begin to collapse,

And as you look at me,

I appear to be a mystery,

I never knew lukewarm-

I burn white hot

for my passion,

I want something special,

of my very own,

I burn with that desire,

Is that longing or is it lust?

But I have the universe –

inside me-

I am made of stardust.

~Saadia

Looking Back {Happy Birthday to me :)}

I’ll remember this from today as a birthday perk 😉

Hope you are having a great Christmas and love ya all ❤

~Saadia

Current Favorites

I wanted to do a chill out post today… Lets have a good old chat…Life was never meant to be too serious 😉

Book:  I haven’t read much these days but I’ve been reading ‘Eleanor and Park’. It is good but not ‘Great’ . Hmmm.Then.. I have been loving ‘The Monk who sold his Ferrari’ and ‘Divergent’ of course. Gotta love a legend ❤

Anime: I am not a TV person but I’ve gone back to my childhood by watching ‘ Inazuma 11’ on repeat. I love it so much. It started in 2008 , I watched it in 2010 and here I am again.

Value: BRAVERY . I was enjoying my time with a cup of tea when an idea struck my mind. Isn’t bravery one of the MOST important things to get through life?Bravery will get you through tests in life, through struggle, pain, your fears and your setbacks. If you are brave you can explore the realm of the extraordinary. If you are brave , you’ll  fight till the very end…. Bravery is important. I want to be brave

Tea: I am a Huge tea fan. I have got a whole lot of them. But Cardamom tea is  so good . If you’ve never tried it, go give it a try. It is sweet even when you don’t add sugar . It is soothing and cool . Thumbs up to that.

Food: If anyone of you knows me well, then you might be guessing that it is something sweet… Ummm… Well, it is a healthier version of ice cream called ‘nicecream’ You’ll find 1000’s of recipes on the internet and it legit takes 3 minutes to make. YUM!

Hope you are having a great day!

~Saadia

 

ROOM

Got a feeling that I’m going under, But I know I’ll make it out alive…

It was that time of the year again. In the town of Mitachi, the place I called home, every 18 year old was blessed with some extraordinary power. I thought of the powers my father, mother and sister had. My father could decipher the meaning of all kinds of dreams. My mother had the ability to sense lies. My sister was a blessed bird. She was blessed with physical powers allowing her to do any possible stunt, any split or any physically possible yoga pose. Because of that she became a stunt runner . Why wouldn’t anyone if he could balance all of his weight on a fingertip like she did. What else could one possibly ask for?

********************

I was pulled out of my train of thought by the sound of the blow horn. Names were read out, teens gifted and all of them would know when the right time would come. Zuzak. Adam. Loran. Austin. Suzan. Leah and so on. Finally, my name was called out. Sophia Grace. I approached the goblet of smoke which kind of choked me . The smoke rose and encircled me and at that very moment my nails grew an inch and there was some kind of electricity flowing through my hands, charging through me. It wasn’t exciting, it was frightening. Little did I know that ‘Frightening’ was all it could ever be.

I looked at the goblet once and walked away. Back at home, no one asked me about my ability, they would know it soon enough.

********************

I couldn’t sleep well that night. All I dreamt of was my sister entering a room with muddy walls, floor and a muddy ceiling. I ran after her, trying to stop her but she disappeared into the room.

i woke up with beads of sweat on my forehead . Anyway, I walked downstairs, had breakfast , the same old scramble and sausage, to erase the negative thoughts from my head. My sister was in a dancer’s stance. I was happy to see her at her happiest self. I gobbled up my food and went to work at the local greenhouse.

********************

Work and the day were okay or so it was until I came back to an empty house.

My parents came home at 8 in the evening. I was scared out of my mind. Understatement. My mother had just entered when our neighbor Mark followed , carrying the lifeless body of my sister.

 

Tripping over myself, aching, begging you to come help. And now I’m without your kisses, I’ll be needing stitches.

*********************

They told me that she fell of a cliff and the raging water never spared her a breath. All I could do was rock back and forth, stifling the sobs.

I dreamt again that night. I saw Loran , the third boy to be gifted in the same muddy room . But this time he was shrieking and when the cries came to the highest, I woke up.

********************

Loran died the next day.

If only I had known.

I could sense death , that was my gift . I realized it on the day they told me that Loran was out in the wild when a boar strangled him.  his screams still echoed in my head. Pleading.

I thought I’d been hurt before, But no one’s ever left me quiet this sore.

********************

Today was the day, I needed all of the bravery in the world. I had found the solution to my self-destructive power. Wasn’t life just a blink from a train….I would pass.

I lay down, breathed a long breath and dug my nails into my throat and it no longer hurt. I was set free. I tore my skin apart and as I escaped into nothingness, I saw myself entering the room.

You watch me bleed until I can’t breathe , shaking, falling onto my knees….

~Saadia

Behind the scenes:

1. I love contradicting my own statements , hence the first caption..

2. The muddy room refers to the grave. An indirect comparison.

3. Yes, I get nightmares . Do you?

Let me know about your fears in the comments 🙂

 

Story: My own creation.

Pictures: pinterest

Captions: ‘Stitches ‘ by Shawn Mendes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hope you liked this story. If you did, please share it as It is one of my dearest works. Good day.

❤

 

Survival

Life is full of multitudes,

we cherish laughter,

after we know grief,

we celebrate peace,

after we sail through storm,

we rejoice in friendship,

after we know of solitude.

But the ability to accept,

these multitudes,

helps you survive this,

helps you live through this all,

because strength and wit,

may leave your side,

life asks for the survival,

of the most adaptable.

~ Saadia

Childhood Nostalgia

As a Child:

1. You’ve been fascinated by the torchlight turning red on your finger .

    2. You’ve built a house of pillows too.

3. You’ve tried to balance the bulb switch between on and off.

4. You’ve  gone up and down the escalator for rides.

5.  You’ve drawn a mustache on your face .

6. You’ve copied someone’s signature.

7. You ran up the slide.

8. You drawn the sun in the corner of the page.

9. You jumped in puddles.

10. You never did anything fake.

~ Saadia

Dear Pen

I make you bleed,

the blood stains my hands,

takes away the pain,

that had settled,

right here in my heart,

I love you for that,

for bringing back my sanity,

Picking you up and scribbling,

my thoughts, pouring my heart out,

I love you for that,

for always being there,

ready to lighten the weight,

I carry in my head.

I love you for when,

there is no friend left,

only you, dear pen,

I love you for that.

~ Saadia

Be Brave

A hollow plunges you into a dimension where existence hurts. If I tell you that I understand what you’re going through, I mean that I have been in that place, fighting for a way to live, battling the problems made out of me , being both the sculptor and the statue. I do not mean that I fathom what you feel because pain is unique- it hits you at your weakest, knowing where to strike.

But perhaps the best thing sometimes is to face life head on – to tear away the cocoon that safeguards you because temporary solutions won’t work for this permanent problem. Brace yourself, look in the direction of a brighter tomorrow because you can never have something until you ask. I know that all salvation is temporary but trying to live the best moments to the fullest is what matters because who knows what lies ahead?

Have fun. Good luck. Be Brave. You’ve got this and I know that you can because you are made of the cosmos. Look for the best because there is a long way to go. As Dr. Sir Muhammad Iqbal has said:

  ” abhi ishq ke imtihaan aur bhi hain,

                     sitarun ke agee jahan aur bhi hain”

                   Translation: There are more tests of love yet to go through, there are more worlds beyond the stars yet to be found. 

And …

” Kabhee kise ko muqamal jahan nhi milta,

kabee zameen , kabee aasman nhi milta.”

Translation: No one has even resided in a perfect world, sometimes you don’t possess the world , sometimes the sky.

~Saadia