On failed attempts of coming home, wrong priorities and learning better.
Art by Barooja (IG @barooja)
On failed attempts of coming home, wrong priorities and learning better.
Art by Barooja (IG @barooja)
I combined words I’d written at different points in life for this one.
What I aim to communicate through these words is the feeling of every day being mundane, possibility not exciting you anymore and being hopeless.
Every place I’ve stayed in or been to gives rise to certain feelings. Often, I subconsiously relate places to objects, colours and certain words. (Is that some sort of synesthesia?)
This is one of those poems, about one particular place.
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The world is bathed in
A dull shade of honey
Like the blood is
seeped out of its veins
It’s still pretty
Still striking
How a mustard veil
Can make the sky look new
When the world slumbering underneath
Is dead.
– Saadia
I’ve loved the mountains
That cradled my home
That held us firm
When lives were lost
And now they disappear
Behind a gust of sand
And I’m left sobbing
At all that my land has endured
And all that it still must.
-Saadia
Holding the weight of the sky
And trying to piece a smile
As my knees give away
Counting the wretched seconds
Till the horizon beckons
And I groan
As I fade away.
– Saadia
Its beautiful.
The tiny velvet blue petals and white dandelions, the sparrow and its hearth, the pine. The budding grass, lush and young, the marbled columns, long roads and the singing of the rare scarlet bird. Its magic and I have fallen for it many times but there is this dark place inside, where the night reigns and stars peek through sometimes, smoke and carnage, broken bones and tired limbs, grey and raven, overlapping and drowning, spring has not found a home yet. Not yet.
– Saadia
Fractured by city lights
But I have an orange veil
That reminds me of summer nights.
And a promise that the sky holds
Our dreams and our ambition
Trying to make a sense
Out of one broken world.
So today, I pick up the pieces
And arrange them skyward
And I know that these colors
Will be enough
To form another sunset
Tinged with the warmth
Of a last hug.
– Saadia
Run, kid, run till your lungs ache and your shins split open. Run till you leave the dead earth hanging on the shattered horizon. Run, leave the immaculate fields behind, plains where the grass is too green, run and strip the unnecessary. Run, love, run till your eyes have drowned in an ocean of stinging tears, run till the trees drift away into an illusional distance. Run till the rain has drenched your bones and the snow nestles in your hair. Run till you are carved raw, run till you find the abode of your demons and the abbey of your angels, run , for the sake of your damned life, run. Run till colours drink themselves up in the sky and the night folds into herself.
– Saadia
This frozen lake,
and the sharp pine needles,
still linger like
its day one,
and the past wasn’t supposed,
to hurt ,
if you didn’t let it,
but I’ve always let it,
and tonight I am lying down,
taking a sip,
of broken stars ,
while its on my mind,
Is this all we have,
all we really are?
~ Saadia
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