A Twist from the Usual : Exams

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Today I am doing a compilation of my thoughts and feelings during exams. This is different than what I usually do but all of us have been through this and I know that each of you will find at least some of these relatable. This post is dedicated to all students especially my friend Zee (www.lifeconfusions.wordpress.com) who is going through this tedious phase right now.So sit back and have a laugh. Cheers!

  1. Beauty gurus: My skin looks uneven today. For Goodness’s sake, how will I combat that!

Student: Oh! My dark circles have grown another centimeter. No big deal, mate!

2. It feels like nothing is left…because the exams are over!

3. Fitness girls: My back was sore from the workout and now the treadmill has made it worse. It feels like my back is broken .

Students: Sat to do my work for 2 hours straight on the desk and now I can’t move a muscle…wait…was that bicepss brachii or what? *calls friend* What was the name of the muscle the professor told us about the other day….Yeah thanks!

4. Achievement on a normal day: Just completed 3 topics from biology. I will do the other 20 some other day.

Achievement on an exam night: Completed 2 chapters and 3 left for tonight, that is the way it is done .

5. After the last paper:

Friend: ‘Woah, you look good today.’

Me: ‘Well, yeah, I brushed my hair.’

ROOM

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Got a feeling that I’m going under, But I know I’ll make it out alive…

It was that time of the year again. In the town of Mitachi, the place I called home, every 18 year old was blessed with some extraordinary power. I thought of the powers my father, mother and sister had. My father could decipher the meaning of all kinds of dreams. My mother had the ability to sense lies. My sister was a blessed bird. She was blessed with physical powers allowing her to do any possible stunt, any split or any physically possible yoga pose. Because of that she became a stunt runner . Why wouldn’t anyone if he could balance all of his weight on a fingertip like she did. What else could one possibly ask for?

********************

I was pulled out of my train of thought by the sound of the blow horn. Names were read out, teens gifted and all of them would know when the right time would come. Zuzak. Adam. Loran. Austin. Suzan. Leah and so on. Finally, my name was called out. Sophia Grace. I approached the goblet of smoke which kind of choked me . The smoke rose and encircled me and at that very moment my nails grew an inch and there was some kind of electricity flowing through my hands, charging through me. It wasn’t exciting, it was frightening. Little did I know that ‘Frightening’ was all it could ever be.

I looked at the goblet once and walked away. Back at home, no one asked me about my ability, they would know it soon enough.

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I couldn’t sleep well that night. All I dreamt of was my sister entering a room with muddy walls, floor and a muddy ceiling. I ran after her, trying to stop her but she disappeared into the room.

i woke up with beads of sweat on my forehead . Anyway, I walked downstairs, had breakfast , the same old scramble and sausage, to erase the negative thoughts from my head. My sister was in a dancer’s stance. I was happy to see her at her happiest self. I gobbled up my food and went to work at the local greenhouse.

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Work and the day were okay or so it was until I came back to an empty house.

My parents came home at 8 in the evening. I was scared out of my mind. Understatement. My mother had just entered when our neighbor Mark followed , carrying the lifeless body of my sister.

 

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Tripping over myself, aching, begging you to come help. And now I’m without your kisses, I’ll be needing stitches.

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They told me that she fell of a cliff and the raging water never spared her a breath. All I could do was rock back and forth, stifling the sobs.

I dreamt again that night. I saw Loran , the third boy to be gifted in the same muddy room . But this time he was shrieking and when the cries came to the highest, I woke up.

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Loran died the next day.

If only I had known.

I could sense death , that was my gift . I realized it on the day they told me that Loran was out in the wild when a boar strangled him.  his screams still echoed in my head. Pleading.

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I thought I’d been hurt before, But no one’s ever left me quiet this sore.

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Today was the day, I needed all of the bravery in the world. I had found the solution to my self-destructive power. Wasn’t life just a blink from a train….I would pass.

I lay down, breathed a long breath and dug my nails into my throat and it no longer hurt. I was set free. I tore my skin apart and as I escaped into nothingness, I saw myself entering the room.

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You watch me bleed until I can’t breathe , shaking, falling onto my knees….

~Saadia

Behind the scenes:

  1. I love contradicting my own statements , hence the first caption..

2. The muddy room refers to the grave. An indirect comparison.

3. Yes, I get nightmares . Do you?

Let me know about your fears in the comments 🙂

 

Story: My own creation.

Pictures: pinterest

Captions: ‘Stitches ‘ by Shawn Mendes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hope you liked this story. If you did, please share it as It is one of my dearest works. Good day.

 

Be Brave

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A hollow plunges you into a dimension where existence hurts. If I tell you that I understand what you’re going through, I mean that I have been in that place, fighting for a way to live, battling the problems made out of me , being both the sculptor and the statue. I do not mean that I fathom what you feel because pain is unique- it hits you at your weakest, knowing where to strike.

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But perhaps the best thing sometimes is to face life head on – to tear away the cocoon that safeguards you because temporary solutions won’t work for this permanent problem. Brace yourself, look in the direction of a brighter tomorrow because you can never have something until you ask. I know that all salvation is temporary but trying to live the best moments to the fullest is what matters because who knows what lies ahead?

Have fun. Good luck. Be Brave. You’ve got this and I know that you can because you are made of the cosmos. Look for the best because there is a long way to go. As Dr. Sir Muhammad Iqbal has said:

  ” abhi ishq ke imtihaan aur bhi hain,

                     sitarun ke agee jahan aur bhi hain”

                   Translation: There are more tests of love yet to go through, there are more worlds beyond the stars yet to be found. 

And …

” Kabhee kise ko muqamal jahan nhi milta,

kabee zameen , kabee aasman nhi milta.”

Translation: No one has even resided in a perfect world, sometimes you don’t possess the world , sometimes the sky.

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~Saadia

 

One of a kind

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Her eyes were deep  – green,  like a woodland lake. Her smile was innocent and her face was sharp and smart.  Her hair was straight and luscious and looking away from her was hard. Her walk was graceful, yet agile and deft. She was hard working but impatient, loving but bad with expressions. She was successful but never proud, she touched the sky and still remained down to earth. She was beautiful, I tell you but it was not her beauty which was as everlasting as her smile was.

Her multitudes were many but they made her who she was- one of  a kind.

~ Saadia

When Tomorrow Comes

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My family had always been mediocre in its needs and desires, had bread-earners, a loving bond and a cozy bed to sleep in . What else could I possibly need? That was what i thought until I stepped out into the world, with the luxury, the bliss of having every thing that catches one’s eye and as anyone else, i was enchanted. And that too in totality. I loved to be trendy , following whatever my peers did with a blindfold. Skinny jeans, Over-sized button downs, studded sneakers, voluminous hair , eyeliner and what not. That phase hung over me for half a year, and finally, after all , I freed myself of the blindfold. I saw the reality- harsh but utterly true. They say that better be hurt by a truth than comforted with a lie. Very well said. I opened my eyes and stepped outside of the bubble I’d lived in, I came to feel the uncertainty that I never knew when my time would come to die , I’d been irresponsible, never knowing that this world was just a hallucination, a test for what was yet to come.

Then began the revolution. I freed myself of the mundane wishes of being trendy, up to date with the foolish examples set by peers, I paved another path, which I today , being honest am proud of. I tried to and continue trying to adorn my hereafter, the ocean , I am yet to face. i am another person today, the person i had never thought of being, I changed and am happy to be alive, aware of the vulnerability of this world- knowing that maybe tomorrow wont come. But if tomorrow comes, I hope that I continue to push myself on the path I’ve carved in the places where only rocks met my eyes, i hope to be a better me- a satisfied, content ‘me’.

You can steer towards the right path too if you’re trying to venture out from your callous or complacent life as every revolution begins with a spark.

~ Saadia

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A Lasting Way to Happiness

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Before I even start, there will be many of you voting against the title, that there can be no lasting way to happiness as life is ironic, beyond anyone’s full control or planning. Agreed. But don’t you think that there are many, many long-term ways to a life of bliss and contentment, even though life pops in hardships here and there in every day of our lives? *Nods head in agreement*

So today, here I am , not with a poem in store, but with a message to you people about a way of life that promises contentment, fulfillment, happiness, accomplishments and above all self-satisfaction because you can fool people but if you fool yourself, you are bound to hit a dead end. So what has brought me to talk about all this today? It is simply the fact that this post might be about something you all have heard multiple times but it has been proved thousands of times by your fellow human beings. So let’s steer ahead:

  1. Living a life of purpose: How many of us wake up every day and do the same things we have been doing for the last couple of months or perhaps even years? If your answer on your part is yes, then you are doing something wrong.  If we become people of habit, life will lose its enchantment, not that I am saying that keeping good habits is wrong, but that do something every day that brings you closer to your purpose in life , be it becoming an author, completing college, painting a masterpiece, travelling around the world or whatever pulls at the strings of your heart. Life without a purpose is a one way ticket to oblivion. So look for a purpose, it is lying out there, go out and find it, live for it and make your life meaningful.
  2. Developing a healthy mindset: You might think that this is more of the long-winded stuff about being positive, but it has survived till now just because it works. If you tell yourself that you are worthless, just another human being on this already overflowing earth, then you are planning for failure . Your mind believes what you force it to believe, fill it with positive thoughts and it is a great servant, if not then it will be a terrible master. Take hold of your thoughts, be positive, because the only person who can bring you down is YOU and I believe that you wouldn’t want to do that.
  1. A Healthy Body: What can a healthy mind do without a healthy body? I might sound ancient but this is the only body you will ever have, carve it into something agile and able. Nourish yourself with healthy and natural food, move away from processed food, hydrate (water is your best friend) and exercise, not that you need to go to the gym. Walk around every day, try simple but effective things like yoga, dance, cycling or if you feel inclined then hiking. Just move your body, don’t be a couch potato, your body will thank you in the end. Having a healthy body automatically improves your confidence and self-belief. ( I give you my guarantee)
  2. Doing what you love : You will never succeed at something you don’t even want to do and by finding something that you feel makes you happy, you will find your higher self. What is the point of living, if you only listen to the opinions of others and drown the voice of your heart? What is the point of life if you don’t enjoy anything that you are doing? Everyone is talented , you just have to find that arena in which you truly belong.
  3. Losing yourself: Lose yourself in the service of others, love everyone ( it is hard, not impossible) , devote 30 minutes every day to talk to an aged person , get to know the people around you and try to forgive and forget , I know you have that power. And as Dr. Sir Mohammad Iqbal has said:

‘ Darde dil ke wastee peda kiya insaan ko, warna itaat keliye kuch kam na they karobean’

Meaning: The Almighty created humans to help each other, to assist and aid one another, he didn’t need your worship , the heavenly creation was always enough.

I hope that this post was of some help to you. Good luck and happy living!  🙂

~ Saadia

 

Open Your Eyes

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Open your eyes and gaze,

into the beauty that the world offers,

Open your windows and allow,

the light to enter, that the sun bestows,

for we haven’t been buried,

we have been planted,

don’t make the life out there wait,

Open your mind to the energy,

that every atom in the universe produces,

open your heart to the love,

that is still left in the world,

for the world is not outside,

it lies deep within you.

~ Saadia

Imperfections

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As I stand on the threshold of realizations, I come to know that every single one of us makes innumerable mistakes, we fall we get up and then fall down again , we are imperfect, with subtle designs , gifted minds and a pure conscience. Looking back on the mistakes that we make can be harsh and painful but at the end of the day , we always try to redeem ourselves and no matter who we are, where we come from or how we act , we try to repent. I believe that , this is what is important, to have a bit of your soul still left after making mistakes which pushes you to ask for forgiveness, which compels you to fall and rise up again. Our imperfections are many but each of us has a potential to be perfect in our own imperfections, to be calm in storms , to accept each thing as it comes, rather than wishing for something better. Accepting yourself, your qualities and dark areas is what makes you happy as happiness is a journey with pitfalls, not a certain destination . I might sound cliche but these realizations have been made by everyone at some point of life and that is what makes us accept the beautifully flawed creatures, we are.

~ Saadia

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Somewhere Between the Pages

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Life is just like a good but scary book, you live your story and re-live the special moments, there is bliss, there is happiness but in the end all of your favorite characters die, the ones you wanted to see living till the very end, get lost somewhere between the pages… but after all, oblivion is inevitable and all we are and all we will ever be will be forgotten some day. All that can be done is to live life with passion and enthusiasm. Loss cannot be redone or loved ones cannot return after making the final journey. Your life is your gift and your burden. Live it well, leave a mark.

~ Saadia

You are Worth More.

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You are more beautiful than you’ll ever know or appreciate,

You are more worthy of than what you give yourself credit for.

You are capable of more than you think you are,

You are unique, you are vivid.

You are a bright star in someone’s dark sky,

You are the sunshine that lights up someone’s days,

You are the breeze that blows away someone’s sorrow,

You are the flower that makes someone’s life fragrant,

You are worth more, you are precious,

Don’t let that ‘someone’ down.

~ Saadia